Amy Danielson Daws, Estherville Lincoln Central graduate and commercial producer with KTTW Fox in Sioux Falls, S.D., will sign her book, Chasing Hope, at Woody's Pizza 4-6 p.m. Saturday.
Chasing Hope, subtitled a mother's story of loss, heartbreak, and a message of hope, tells how Daws and her husband Kevin survived five miscarriages and infertility to finally have her daughter, Lorelei.
"It's about my insecurities, my anxiousness, my nervousness," said Daws who adds that the book has moments of lightness as well.
"It's sort of a taboo topic," admitted Daws. "A lot of people don't like to talk about pregnancies and miscarriages."
Daws also wrote the book in memory of the children she carried but who were never carried to term.
"I want those little angel babies to have validation," said Daws, adding with determination when speaking of Lorelei, "We would have walked through fire to have her."
Daws hopes the book will be a help to women who have undergone infertility or miscarriages and are looking for inspiration. She also hopes it will be an inspiration to everyone.
A 2002 ELC grad, Dawn graduated from UNI with an electronic media degree.
She published her book on Amazon Kindle and on Create Space, Amazon's publish-on-demand program.
Daws' website is: amydawsauthor.com.
Her author page is available at: amazon.com/author/amydaws.
The book is also available on Lulu at:
Following are some standard questions and answers provided by Daws.
What inspired you to share your story with the world?
Honestly, at first I just knew I wanted to strictly write my story out so I never ever forgot it and then once I finished it, I was like, "Well heck! I went to this much work already, I may as well publish it!" Then I started to share it with a few people and their feedback was tremendous. They were able to relate with what I was saying, or they were able to feel validated because I had similar feelings they had! So then I just knew I wanted to get it out there to help more.
What was the pivotal point that made you decide you needed to document this?
I remember holding my daughter and thinking back to the day we scheduled her c-section and what a BIG deal that was for us! It was HUGE! I could remember the whole conversation with the nurse in vivid detail and I thought to myself, I NEVER want to forget that moment! I need to write it down! So that's what I did!
What were the range of emotions you felt while writing the book?
Oh brother. I was a mess most of the time. Any time I wrote vivid detail about the losses, tears were just streaming down my face and in to my lap. I just prayed no one tried to talk to me during those times because I probably would have screamed at them to get me a tissues and then leave me alone! But then I'd also have these moments of excitement, like I knew where I wanted to go and I just couldn't type it out fast enough. Those moments were exciting!
How did your husband feel about you writing the book?
I think Kevin was happy for me when I told him I wanted to do this. But when he read it, I think he had some reservations. I speak in great detail about things people said to me that hurt my feelings or what I was thinking on the inside while someone shared their joyful news and he, being the nicest guy on the planet, initially thought I was being too cruel. And I understand that. But once I told him he needed to look at the big picture and what WE went through as opposed to me offending my sister in law or something, he got with the program real quick and became super supportive.
Did writing everything out help out your relationship with Kevin?
You know, Kevin and I have gone through so much; writing out my story really didn't change things for us that muchaside from the added stress of all the work writing a book is!
What was the purpose of the book when you started writing it? Is that how the final product turned out?
When I first started typing out my story, it was only because I didn't want to forget. I didn't want to forget the beautiful, wonderful, exciting momentsas well as, the horrifying, depressingly tragic moments. What Kevin and I went through together was HEAVY stuff. For real! I don't think I had a specific purpose or theme when I first started writing it out, but as it developed, I realized that my story had this beacon of hope shining throughout it all. And that was awesome!
What was the most painful part of the book to write or get through?
Typing out those losses was torture. But beautiful too. By writing it out, I was able to make myself be a fly on the wall and see the horror but also the beauty of each of those losses. The intimacy Kevin and I shared in all those dark days is not something to be forgotten or taken lightly. It was hauntingly beautiful.
What was the happiest or most fun part to write about?
Spoiler Alert: Of course it was the birth of Lorelei! I mean, that moment was one of the most exhilarating moments of my life! I became a Mom! Holy crap! Those days in the post partum room were the most magical days of my life and I was so sleep deprived! LOL! I never wanted to sleep because I was on such an adrenaline high, I didn't want to miss a minute! It was incredible to be able to put that magical day on paper.
What's been the hardest thing about enduring multiple miscarriages?
The sadness never fully leaves you. Even after becoming a mother, you still have that sad spot in your heart for all the ones you've lost. Some days I feel like I'm on another plain than the rest of the world because I have this deep dark past that's always with me. I'll never get those babies back, hopefully in heaven someday yeah, but I'll never get to experience being their mom and knowing what they look like, what their little personalities are. Ugh, just thinking about it brings it all back you know?
If you had to give advice or words of encouragement to people going through your similar situation, what would it be?
The baby that is meant for you is still coming. It's hard to accept because you think that the baby you just lost should be the ONE for you! But once you meet the baby that you were supposed to have here on Earth, it all sort of makes sense! I will always be a better mother for what I have gone throughand no one can take that away from me! I can actually say I am lucky for going through what I've gone through because it made me a better person. So, sorry if you're in the darkness right now, I get it. But just hang in there. I cannot wait for you to see the light! It's coming, one way or another! It will be the baby that was MEANT for you!
Amy Daws biography
Amy Daws is local TV network affiliate commercial producer and lives in South Dakota with her husband, Kevin, and their daughter, Lorelei. She graduated with honors from the University of Northern Iowa.